YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TEXAS IN AUGUST WHEN. . . ...
The birds have to use potholders to pull  worms out of the ground.
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of  distance.
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
You can  make sun tea instantly.
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a  pretty good branding iron. 
The temperature drops below 95  and you feel a little chilly.
You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
You actually burn your hand  opening the car door.
You break into a sweat the instant you step  outside at 7:30 a.m.
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is,'What if  I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?'
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
The  potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add  butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.  
Ah, what a place to call home.  .
 
God Bless The Republic of TEXAS!!!
God Bless The Republic of TEXAS!!!
And BTW this is ALL true!
 
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